It is going to make three months since my heart and mind have been stuck in Genesis 29 through 30. Allow me to explain the significance of this passage. But first: a summary.

Basically this is the part where Jacob runs away from home to avoid his brother’s wrath. He ends up meeting this girl named Rachel, falls head over heels for her, and wants to marry her. He asks Rachel’s dad for permission, gets married, then realized he was tricked into marrying Rachel’s older sister Leah. He finally gets to marry Rachel shortly after, but they struggle to have kids. However, Leah and Jacob are able to have kids because God saw how much Leah was unloved by Jacob.

When I first read this part of the story, I empathized with Leah. I felt her pain. I not only understood what it was like to be her, I felt like I actually was her. I know rejection from the hand of a man so well. Leah gave her body up to Jacob. Maybe I can make him love me if I give him children. Maybe I’ll get some affection if I have sex with him. Girl, I’ve been there and done that. You can have sex with a guy all he wants, but it will never make him love you.

You cannot force somebody to want you. You cannot force somebody to love you like you love them.

Now with Rachel, Jacob was having sex because he loved her. They were “making love” but they were not making babies. In verse one of chapter 30, Rachel grows jealous of Leah. What’s important to note in this verse is that Rachel begs Jacob “Give me a child, or I’ll die.” Rachel is making an idol out of Jacob, treating him like God. She is behaving like he has all the power in the world to give her a baby. She was also idolizing having a baby. As if a baby is the be-all, end-all. Rachel was basically saying that if she didn’t have a child, there was no point in her being alive.

We are more than what we produce.

Jacob knew she was placing her hope in the wrong thing. She continued to face disappointment because things were not going the way she wanted it to. So Rachel takes matters into her own hands. Jealousy does that to people. It says “God owes me this thing.” Jealousy can drive a person to do the utmost.

Jacob tells Rachel he is not to blame for their infertility, that she should take it up with the Lord. But instead, she forces her servant to have sex with Jacob and get pregnant. Rachel begins to name those sons as if they were her own.

Just because you call dibs on something, does not mean it is rightfully yours.

Rachel’s jealousy and impatience drove her into manipulation. She wanted to take control of the situation. She thought God had actually blessed her. But God cannot bless what He does not give. 

What God gives you is rightfully yours. What He does not give you does not belong to you. He will always give you what is meant for you.

Rachel ended up having two sons of her own after much turmoil. She could have saved herself plenty of trouble if she had not tried to manipulate the situation. If she had not tried to force a child into existence.

We can save ourselves so much trouble, pain, disappointment, mind battles, if we only trust the Lord and His timing.

What I love about God is that He shows up for both Leah and Rachel. He hears both of their cries. He sees both of their heart’s desires. Leah came to know that the love of God was more satisfying than the love a man could ever offer her. She learned to praise Him through her pain. Rachel learned to put her faith in God rather than men. Man will always disappoint. *Insert a joke about how you can’t spell disappointment with out men here.* Here was two sisters that let a man come in between them. The problem was never actually the man, but rather it was the condition of each of their hearts.

God will always check your heart with kindness, gentleness, and so much grace.