“My brothers and sisters, God called you to be free, but do not use your freedom as an excuse to do what pleases your sinful self. Serve each other with love. The whole law is made complete in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ If you go on hurting each other and tearing each other apart, be careful or you will completely destroy each other. So I tell you: Live by following the Spirit. Then you will not do what your sinful selves want. Our sinful selves want what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit wants what is against our sinful selves. The two are against each other, so you cannot do just what you please. But if the Spirit is leading you, you are not under the law. The wrong things the sinful self does are clear: being sexually unfaithful, not being pure, taking part in sexual sins, worshipping gods, doing witchcraft, hating, making trouble, being jealous, being angry, being selfish, making people angry with each other, causing divisions among people, feeling envy, being drunk, having wild and wasteful parties, and doing other things like these. I warn you now as I warned you before: Those who do these things do not inherit God’s kingdom. But the Spirit produces fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. There is no law that says these things are wrong. Those who do not belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their own sinful selves l. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit. We must not be proud or make trouble with each other or be jealous with each other.” [Galatians 5:13-26]

“And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” [Philippians 4:19]

My God, I feel stuck. How do I know the difference between the head and the heart. I know better, but I don’t feel better. I feel like I’m not moving forward. it isn’t a matter of whether or not You’re out there and whether or not You are who You say You are. I know who You are. But maybe I’m not a strong enough believer. I just feel like I’m not pleasing You. Part of me knows I’m a lot better than I used to be, but I feel like I’ve taken steps back. So much of me is pushing to move forward. I’m in a war with myself. Maybe I’m not doing everything I can. I feel too weak to carry on. I know this where You are most near to me and I really need You to carry me home. This paper heart burns so easily. Please, I am really trying to be like You. I think I deserve all the bad that comes to me. I don’t deserve the good. You bless me even when I fail You. You’re wonderful and I’m not worth an awful lot. I’m all I have to offer to anyone. You say that is enough but I don’t feel enough. I’ll never be enough for man. I’m either too much or too little. Please take away these nasty, low thoughts of self-worth. They don’t come from You. I want You to consume me. Show me who I am. I want to understand myself. I want to know myself. I’m so lost. I know I can only be found in You. I don’t want to give up my search. Push me to keep searching. I need Your peace of mind. I need Your joy. Please wash away my sorrows. I want what You want for me. Help me to discern what is healthy for my head and heart and what isn’t. I am Yours and You have a plan for me. It all seems so foggy. I trust in You. I know there’s good that lies ahead. I just don’t like that moments like these are so troublesome. They’re so wasteful. Maybe You use them to draw me closer to You, but I don’t think I go about these moments very well. Do these strong emotions have any good to them? I don’t want to drive people away with them. I just want You to stabilize them. Why do humans have to have such feelings as these? What’s the point of doing this work if my heart is still acting the same? Is the fact that I’m conflicted a good thing? Are You actually winning the battle? Please fight this battle for me. I can’t do this on my own. I need You.