Recently, I have lost in love, but I have also gained in love. See, I lost an Earthly love of mine, yet I gained a Heavenly love of mine. This Earthly love was lost for reasons I feel were beyond my control. It hurt a lot to hear it had to end. It hurt a lot to watch it end. It still hurts a lot. I felt broken. My heart hurt metaphorically and literally. I was pained. In agony. Unsure of why it had to end in such a way. This isn’t the first time I’ve lost in love, and who knows if it will be the last. All I know is things are no longer the same within my heart. I’m not saying my heart has grown cold. In fact, it is just the opposite. It has grown softer than I ever could have imagined. My heart is so soft, so resilient, so transformed. My heart is so filled with mercy, forgiveness, compassion, peace, joy, and love.

At first, I didn’t understand why I had to lose in Earthly love. However, the more I look back, the more I understand. Things deep down in my heart did not feel completely right. I knew there was a yearning that wasn’t being satisfied. I couldn’t fill that hole up for myself, nor could I do it for someone else. When I lost my Earthly love, I felt robbed of everything. I gave so much, pretty much everything I had to give. It hurt so much because I was so invested. I realized this as I read Hosea 2. Some of it reads, “But I’ll fix her: I’ll dump her in a field of thistles, then lose her in a dead-end alley. She’ll go on the hunt for her lovers but not bring down a single one. She’ll look high and low but won’t find a one. Then she’ll say, ‘I’m going back to my husband, the one I started out with.That was a better life by far than this one.’” That totally tore me apart. I felt like God was taking everything from me because I kept running to the source of the pain for healing. This Earthly love could not mend the broken heart I had. I gave all I had to my Earthly love. So to feel robbed, I felt like I was reduced to nothing. God saw me trying to run back to my Earthly love, and He didn’t like that. He saw me giving all I had to my Earthly love, and He didn’t like that either.

Hosea 2 continues, “She didn’t know that it was I all along who wined and dined and adorned her, that I was the one who dressed her up in the big-city fashions and jewelry that she wasted on wild Baal-orgies. I’m about to bring her up short: No more wining and dining! Silk lingerie and gowns are a thing of the past… All her fly-by-night lovers will be helpless to help her…I’ll make her pay for her indulgence in promiscuous religion—all that sensuous Baal worship and all the promiscuous sex that went with it, stalking her lovers, dressed to kill, and not a thought for me.’ says the Lord.” See everything I had, it wasn’t things I got on my own. The Earthly love I had was not something I got by my own will. The love I had to give wasn’t something I grew myself. Nothing I had belong to me. It was all God’s. He is the One that provides for me. The One who meets all my needs. He is the One who gave me all this love I have. It’s His love I am filled with. I gave all I had to others instead of giving it back to God Himself. He wanted me to return the ocean of love He has given me. I was loving others before loving Him, and that wasn’t right.

That’s what I realized, I wasn’t being satisfied on Earth because my desires are not of this world. My desires can only be fulfilled by life with God. I was doing the best I could to give my Earthly love the love that is describe in Corinthians, but it wasn’t enough. I was in love with the Earthly love before I was in love with God. I have to be in love with God first before I can give anyone the true love Corinthians describes. The true love my Earthly love should get. Things were missing in that love I was giving… and receiving. It all had to with not being so wrapped up in the Being that is Love itself. God has a plan though. See, he’s winning me back. He’s getting me to fall in love with Him so I can love the way Corinthians says I should love.

I love the proclamation God makes that Hosea 2 shows, “And now, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to start all over again. I’m taking her back out into the wilderness where we had our first date, and I’ll court her. I’ll give her bouquets of roses. I’ll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope. She’ll respond like she did as a young girl… you’ll address me, ‘Dear husband!’… At the same time I’ll make a peace treaty between you and wild animals and birds and reptiles, and get rid of all weapons of war.Think of it! Safe from beasts and bullies! And then I’ll marry you for good—forever! I’ll marry you true and proper, in love and tenderness.Yes, I’ll marry you and neither leave you nor let you go. You’ll know me, God, for who I really am.”  I think that is so incredibly reassuring. This is where I gained in love.

I gain a Heavenly love. I gain Christ. I gain the greatest kind of love. I gain Love Himself. He is mine. My Lover. Love of my life. He is captivating my heart. He is making me fall in love with Him, and boy is it working. He is the greatest thing to happen to me. Because of the love He is showing me, the pain from the heartbreak I felt has lessened. He is soothing the pain. Mending my broken heart. Restoring it. Making it new and better than ever. Things come up that want to shake the peace He has given me, but I no longer let it affect me the way it used to. Those things may hurt a lot, but my God is great. The Lord guards my heart. I have gained a love that lasts. My love for Him will no longer fade. He is my number One. If He isn’t in the picture I will die. Everything of this Earth will fade, but everything from Heaven remains. I exit out of Heartbreak Valley. He has restored my hope. He has restored my love. I have hope that my Earthly love will return.

My Earthly love will return better than ever. With twice as much love to give. There won’t be anything missing because Christ will be in the picture. My God will cause this tree to produce so much fruit. My God has planted, and there will be a harvest once again. Compassion, peace, joy, patience, and love will flourish. There will be an abundance. Hosea 2 ends as such, “On the very same day, I’ll answer… the sky, sky will answer earth, Earth will answer grain and wine and olive oil, and they’ll all answer Jezreel. I’ll plant her in the good earth. I’ll have mercy on No-Mercy. I’ll say to Nobody, ‘You’re my dear Somebody, ’and he’ll say ‘You’re my God!’” It will be grand. It is grand. This journey of being pruned, of being planted, this journey of growing, of blossoming is the greatest journey ever. I am so grateful for everything I have been given. I am grateful for my former Earthly love. I am grateful for my current Heavenly love. Without a doubt, I will be grateful for my future Earthly love whenever he comes to me.