The first time I talked about forgiveness was when I learned about asking for it. The second time was when I learned how to forgive others. This third time around is me learning how to forgive myself.

I have hurt myself time and time again. That’s is not fair. I am precious and don’t deserve to be so mistreated. I am my worst offender. I am my own worst enemy. My harshest critic. Just as much as I let others hurt me, I hurt myself. You can even argue that I hurt myself by letting others hurt me… I would agree with you.

For too long, I have allowed for others to tell me who I am. Its like “You seem to know me better than I know myself. You know how I act. Tell me who I am. What makes me, me???” It was a constant disappointment because I didn’t always hear the good things that I wanted to hear. Maybe they were trying to help me improve because they care. Or maybe that’s how they really saw me and didn’t care whether I acted upon their opinion because they didn’t really care about me. Regardless, I have heard a lot of negative things about myself that I let hurt me.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, bu t words will never hurt me.” No. Words hurt. Lies hurt. Those wounds go deep. For too long, I have let words hurt me. I put too much of my trust on words rather than actions. People disappointed me over and over again. I disappointed myself for letting people affect me in such a way. I would beat myself up. 

Maybe they were right. Maybe I am this word, maybe I am that word. But I am not. I am not who people say I am. They didn’t create me. I have a Creator. Only He can tell me who I am. He has been trying so hard to tell me who I am, but I wouldn’t listen. I am listening now. I am not what former infatuations say I am. I am not what family or close friends say I am. I am who my Creator says I am.

I am precious. I am priceless. I am a work of art. Holy. Set apart. Different from the rest. I am rare. I am royalty. I am a queen. I matter. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am lovable. I am loved. I have purpose. I am chosen. I am accepted. I am enough. If people can’t see that, that’s okay. I make mistakes, but I am forgiven.

I am learning to see that. I am learning to see myself as my Creator sees me. I am learning to not need somebody else’s reassurance. They can’t give me what I have been looking for. I am changing where I set my sights. People aren’t gods. People fall short. I’m setting my sights on my Creator. He isn’t an earthly being. He came to Earth to forgive me, but He isn’t part of this world. He never disappoints. He takes me as I am. He gives me what I need.

I will no longer go to people for acceptance. I am going to my Creator. I will no longer let other people hurt me with their words. I choose who hurts me. I am letting go of the pain. I forgive all those who once hurt me. I forgive myself. I know why I did what I did to myself. I will no longer mistreat myself. I am learning to love myself.  

I am a work in progress. Constantly being transformed by my Creator. I am at peace. I still struggle, and will continue to struggle, but I have one less Goliath to worry about. I am growing. I am forgiving.