My dear friend, we need to stop meeting like this. Once a year? Shame on me. So much happened in 2024 and so much has been happening in 2025. Let’s get you up to speed, shall we?

January through July of 2024, I spent many days crying my eyes out. Struggling with myself. I was left with the pain from someone who did not know how to handle my heart. As he walked away without an apology, I was left to forgive him and myself…. mainly myself. I had to face myself and every choice I ever made (literally everything breathing moment). Self-sabotage became my best frenemy. Looking back, I just ended up hurting 7 year-old me more than I hurt 27 year-old me. They both deserve the biggest hug…

April 2024, I knew something was off and I desperately needed a break. I was emptying myself day in and day out. With work and at church. I spent May and June asking, begging, to take a break. When I cried out, no one bothered to listen. That broke me even more.

May to July of 2024, I spent those months putting on a fake smile. Saying yes to things when I so desperately wanted to say no. Praying for a way out. I was brave enough to show up, but a coward to stand up for my own needs. It felt like everyone was on an express train that I couldn’t even get a ticket for. I genuinely felt my life was changing speeds and rhythms. Honestly, it felt like that train was no longer for me.

August 2024, my family was patiently awaiting the arrival of my nephew. I used his unknown birthdate as an excuse to say no and take a “break.” In this month, I faced myself and the reality of my situation. I needed to step down from ministry, step away from “friendships”, step away from things/places that kept affecting me. I realized that I needed a whole new “hospital” to recover in. The crazy thing is that my nephew came at the very tail end of the month, letting me have the whole month to reflect.

September 2024, the first 2 weeks were such an adjustment with family. There was a whole new human in our home. Wow, do babies change lives. I was also faced with the decision of changing churches. I did my research and prayed that the church that God was leading me to was where I needed to be. As I stepped through those doors on the last Sunday of the month, I knew I was right where I needed to be.

October 2024 to December 2024, opening up to new relationships/friendships proved to be very difficult. I was so used to that feeling of familiarity, and was scared to start again. I learned to shed the weight of the past and look toward the future. As seasons changed with my family, I started to find myself alone more often than not.

January to April 2025, I moved out and learned transitions can be so much harder alone. Learning new rhythms and routines. Learning new things about myself. Oftentimes, I butted heads with family members, and that ripped me to the core. The frustration of the changes was projected onto them. Tough conversations were had with family, myself, and God. Something in my heart was shifting and opening my mind up to new relationships. I decided to sign up for a volunteer event and little did I know it would lead to so many lovely connections.

May to August 2025, church became less lonely. I started serving again. I made new friends and met so many new people. Shoutout to my old/long time friends, too, for walking this whole year with me. They are too real and I love them. Lots of changes were also happening at work. I got promoted and got new responsibilities. And I decided it was high time to pick up where I left off on my publishing project.

September 2025, I started working towards opening my own publishing company. It has been a busy month with different moving parts. It still is. I am learning so much about everything – marketing, logos, symbols, applications, finances, shipping, websites, etc. The recovering perfectionist in me is doing everything to make sure I have everything I need. Sharing word of mouth is so hard for someone like me who is not used to bragging or oversharing.

Which leads us to present day October 2025. Working on my book and publishing company made me realize I needed to be better at blogging. I have a million ideas, but we will see what are the right choices to make. I am praying God continues to guide me and give me wisdom to manage this and all future projects. The last year has been so rough, but rewarding at the same time. I wouldn’t change much if it means getting to be right where I am right now. I think I am right where I need to be. If I would make a change, I think I probably would just have started everything a lot sooner.

Here’s to the final quarter of 2025. Praying it ends so much better than it started…. And I promise to keep you updated this time (hehe).