Looking back on last year, I have so much to be thankful for. This time last year was very dark and ugly for me. I remember last November 23rd, I was unsure if I would even be alive the next day. I was insecure, depressed, lonely, and suicidal. I remember writing and describing last autumn: “September was the violent beginning. October was the harsh fall. November is the struggle to get up.” I look back on all that I wrote and I know exactly how I felt in that moment. It sends chills down my spine to remember the conditions I was in. Although last November was difficult, God sent moments of comfort and peace. It was those moments that got me through. I wasn’t sure how long it would be before the storm ceased, but I was forced to believe someday I would see the purpose behind the pain.

This fall, I have come to understand that God can take the bad in my life and use it for good. I have come to understand that all the nights I spent crying, feeling hopeless, insecure, and lonely are being restored. The devil is paying me back for all he has stolen from me. What I went through is not for waste. God has significantly transformed me, my mind, my heart, and my soul. God is literally the only one I have to thank for where I am now. I remember writing how I was trying to get better, I was going to get better. How I will be filled with light, I will grow, I will blossom, and I will radiate.

I thank God that I can say, the darkness is disappearing. I am filled with light. Sure there some dark moments, but not like before. They’re different and flee within moments. I radiate God’s joy. That joy is my strength, and you best believe I’m strong. Small, but unshakable. I am growing and blossoming into the woman God has called me to be. And if you are going through a dark season in your life, I would like you to know it’s just a season. Seasons change. Maybe you’re only ever experiencing fall and summer, but that’s okay. It will all be okay as long as you put your trust in God. He makes a way when there seems to be no way out. I thought it would take 10 years for me to see the purpose behind the pain, but I saw it one year after surrendering my life to Christ. I promise it can happen to you when you do the same.

I also thank God for the wonderful church He has placed me in. For the family/friends I have gained there. For the amount of learning and growing I’ve done while attending that church. He has brought light in my life through Freedomhouse. For His constant provision. For my family and friends. For His love, healing, grace, and peace. For being alive to see all He is doing in my life and in the lives of those around me. I am absolutely blessed. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, FRIENDS!!