For the past week, I have been feeling way unlike myself. Every morning, I would wake up and be filled with feelings that would knock me out of my groove. It’s kind of hard to explain, but I would just not want to do anything. I had zero motivation. It’s not like I was starting to feel depressed.. but I was exhibiting some symptoms. I would literally eat once a day, lie in bed all day, and I know for a fact, I wasn’t acting the nicest to everyone.

I also didn’t do my best in giving my feelings to God, until Friday night. I went to the beach Friday night and had an encounter with God I was not expecting at all. I was feeling hurt, so I went to express them to a friend of mine. She and I talked for a good while, until she decided to pray. We literally got on our knees by the shore and just cried out to God. While watching the waves crash against the shore, I suddenly had the urge to write everything I was holding onto on a piece of paper and throw it into the ocean. I know, I littered; I already apologized to God. After doing so, I was overcome by such a peace.

But since then, my peace has been coming and going. I couldn’t wait to get to church to feel Him again. Not even during worship did I feel different. I was helping tear down after service. While walking to a car to put things away, I was walking with my eyes to the floor. It took every inch of me not to cry when I heard someone tell me to always keep my head up. I had a meeting after church for camp. While we were praying, I was feeling distracted. I tried giving it to God because the prayers weren’t about me. We were finally asked to let God speak to us, and that’s when I cried. The Holy Spirit reminded me that any lie of the devil is not true; that the liars will be silenced (Psalm 63:11).

After the meeting, I went home feeling the same. I thought Monday would be better. It wasn’t. I got so mad at myself because I have so much to do and I wasn’t acting on any of it. But today, on a Tuesday, I feel so much better; although, it didn’t start off that way. I had to wake up at 4 in the morning to come to work with my parents. From the hours of 4 and 10, I was experiencing the worst back pain. One of my friends sent a text saying he was praying we have a blessed day. I was honestly about to complain and imply that I wasn’t feeling blessed. I was going to ask for them to pray for me, but suddenly the pain was gone.

It wasn’t just the pain that disappeared. The weird funk I was in disappeared, too. I am feeling like my normal self again. I feel ready and motivated to take on every task I have to do before camp. Not going to lie, the pain in my back came back as I was writing this, but I still feel good. I feel blessed. So, no matter what you’re going through today, happy Tuesday. Don’t let it be a bluesday!