2015 was a year filled with a lot of growth and a heck of a lot of pruning. It was a year filled with so much joy and laughter, as well as so much pain and tears. 2015 was supposed to be my year. It didn’t start of that way. In March, when I began this blog, I made a lot of effort to make 2015 mine once again. So much happened between March and December that I never would have imagined.

So many times was my heart and spirits broken. Still I pushed through. For a while I thought it was my personal achievement. It was never. It was always God guiding me though it. He was behind every advancement. I never would have imagined getting so low the way I did. I never would have imagined being filled with such peace and joy the way I have been.

2015 was a rough year. It shook me. It threw me around like it’s personal chew toy. I let that happen. I was supposed to invest 2015 in myself. I was supposed to become a better person physically and mentally and emotionally. I was supposed to let go of my fears and learn to love myself.

I did my best to grow. I am content with the growth I have done. I know I could have grown more if I didn’t allow certain situations to hold me back. I stunted my own growth. I allowed myself to be stuck in the same place for a long time. Maybe I was supposed to stay there for that amount of time, but I should have never let it affect the way I felt about myself. I grew far too insecure. I let my emotions get the best of me. I wasn’t healthy or stable in any aspect of my life. I failed miserably every time I said I would fix myself. I’ve said before, I can’t do it on my own. 

The Lord really helped me through different circumstances in my life. He opened and closed a lot of doors this year. Some doors were even reopened. Some of those closed doors remain unlocked. I don’t know what any of the doors hold for me I don’t know which ones will be opened in the new year. I don’t know which ones will close in the new year. I do know that I am excited and the Lord only wants good things for me. If I keep at His feet, it will be pure gold. 

I do know that 2016 is my year. I will do anything and everything to make myself a better person inside and out. This is my wake up call. This year is for me to be reborn to the person I need and want to be. “2015 was my character development year which means 2016 is strictly action and story progression and i don’t know about you but i’m excited.”  I am going to do ten times the growing. Ten times the learning. It’s going to be good. It’s going to be great. 

2015 brought a lot of great moments. I even made a little box with notes to remind me of those moments. I thank everyone, mainly one sir, who helped make 2015 worth remembering. But these moments, they will be just memories in 2016. What were once loud echoes in my head, they will be low hums in 2016. Some may even be silenced forever. My heart was broken. My heart is being restored. I take on 2016 with full force. With all 90 pounds. I take 2016 head on. I take on 2016 wholeheartedly. I take on 2016 with my God at my side.

I turn this page in the story of my life. I walk through this door in my life.