Actually, they are living in my head. For the most part, I do a pretty decent job at keeping them quiet. They do like to come out and play games at night. They rob me from my sleep. They keep me scared. They make me cry. They push me down and try to keep me down.

The times I do a terrible job at keeping them quiet, are the times where the entire world seems like its collapsing. The times where every part of my life seems to be heading in the wrong direction. I didn’t realize how they tear me down. I didn’t realize how much it affects everyone around me. When these monsters come out to play, I am not myself. 

These monsters come in the form of loneliness, hostility, and anxiety. I withdraw myself out of insecurity. I play the victim way too often. I run around like a chicken with it’s head cut off yelling “Woe, is me!” A victim is not in any control of what is happening to them. I am not a real victim.

I have control over anything that happens to me. I can block out the voices of the monsters. I can refuse to listen to them when they tell me how inadequate I am or how everything will remain against my favor. I will not let them belittle me. I will not let them feed me lies about other people. I will not let them destroy my positive opinions about people. Just because someone mistreated me or said some hurtful things does not give me the right to be cross with them. They have their own monsters to fight off. I must let them be. I must continue to do me. To keep my head up high. As someone dear once said to me, I get to decide whether everything will be okay or not. I have decided that everything will definitely be more than okay. A special thank you to that someone.

I refuse for these monsters to knock me down. I have had enough of that last night. I had enough of the crying over how much I feel oppressed. I need my sleep. I need my peace of mind. They have no control over my head or my life. They may want to come back, but I have learned how to fight them off. This is me bidding my monsters adieu.

Farewell. May I rest in peace for as long as I live.